


Expressions

by santalune



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:51:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1925703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/santalune/pseuds/santalune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saïx and Axel admiring their favourite expression of the other one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Expressions

**Author's Note:**

> My try for Akusai Month day 2. The prompt was 'expressions' and I wanted to try writing something. This turned out terrible but who cares right. English isn't my first language so if there are mistakes please tell me! ;v; Also I can't write Axel and that's why his part is shorter, I'm really sorry about that.

It was almost noon, but Saïx had been working on the next strategy to apply on the next missions for hours. He always woke up early, earlier than every other Organization member. His office was white, clean, well organized and everything was in place. Even his table, where he had been working for a while. The computer shone bright in front of him, without noise. All the information the Organization had gathered was in that computer, so Saïx used to study there. It was way more practical and useful than the library, which Vexen loved so much. 

Sitting at the table for such a long period of time got him hungry. Still, he wouldn’t get up until those papers were ready. Steadily finishing his work on time was one of his strong points, if not the strongest. When he got up, it was already lunch time. That wasn’t the most important thing, although he was hungry from all that working. Slowly, he moved away from the white table, not before checking twice that every paper was where it was supposed to be. Instead of aiming directly for the dining room, he decided to take a detour. 

Everything was silent in the Castle That Never Was. Its relaxing aura was distinctive, although it did have something strange; no one could tell what that was exactly, but everybody knew that something was off, a sensation that you couldn’t rub off your shoulder as if it was dirt. For Saïx it was a constant reminder that wandered around him, endlessly telling him that he shouldn’t be there, and along him, none of them —the Organization, that is— should be. Annoying, Saïx thought, but nothing difficult to cope with. He grew accustomed to it as the time passed. 

The hallways were familiar and, as he walked through them, he could see many familiar faces. He walked past the Grey Area, though he could see Zexion patiently listening to Xigbar, who was trying to have a nice chat with him—it was unpleasant to Zexion, as it was obvious (everyone could tell just from his expression, there was no need to eavesdrop on the conversation) but Xigbar didn’t seem to notice. Not that Saïx was going to tell them, anyway. Larxene was sitting on the left, badmouthing Marluxia while checking her hair was well combed, as if anyone cared about her opinion on him. 

Soon, he finally reached the dormitory part of the Castle. While he was approaching the room he wanted to enter, he glanced inside a room that wasn’t closed. There was Demyx, lying on his side while watching Kingdom Hearts through the window of his room. There wasn’t ambition or pride in his eyes, not even a pinch of lust. He was just longingly looking at the place where his other half was, probably wishing to get it back. Saïx looked away. He would not stand there and stare other nobodies longing for Kingdom Hearts. Nobodies were not his priority. 

There it was. The room he was looking for.

Saïx quietly opened the door. Everything was a mess inside, though that wasn’t astonishing. He searched the whole room with his eyes, looking for Axel. Of course he’s still sleeping, he thought with little surprise. No one would expect otherwise. It was no secret that Axel slept until it was past lunch time, since he liked to stay up all night doing who-knows-what. Saïx knew it since they both were little, back when they were best friends and they couldn’t stand a day without being together. He would have to wait for hours until Lea showed up. ‘I fell asleep again, sorry!’ he used to shout, smiling and running towards Isa, while Isa waited resting on a wall and reading a book. 

This time, it was Axel who rested. Saïx sit by his side, watching him while he slept. Even though Axel was full of energy, when he was sleeping he was so serene and peaceful it was a delightful view of him to see. Saïx never missed a chance to wake him up so he could see his calm face for a little while.

He smelled as he normally did. It was a thick scent, tinted with a burned odor. It was a little bit bitter, as a fire’s scent would be, but it was also nice and smooth. Once you got used to it, it was even sweet. It didn’t get inside your lungs — it was like a expensive perfume, that kind that you’d only get to smell inside a brand new shop. The difference was that that exclusive perfume was Axel’s natural scent. It flowed out of his body, or probably out of his Eternal Flames. You just couldn’t know. That was a magical thing about Axel. You couldn’t be sure of anything about him. He was just so… changing. 

Axel was at ease. Saïx scanned his pale face, inspected every detail of his features, and a little smile, almost invisible, appeared on his own face. He could see how Axel’s eyelashes lay still, how his eyes slowly moved under his eyelids. Axel’s nose was quiet, since he made no noise while sleeping. Who knew how long would Axel be asleep like this, tranquil, calm, placid. Happy, even. Saïx’s eyes descended down Axel’s nose. His cheeks looked smooth and soft; Saïx longed to touch them. However, there was no possibility to do that since he couldn’t gather enough courage. To be honest, he would never look directly at Axel because he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He always told himself to focus on getting Kingdom Hearts so they would become human again. That was why they were becoming distant, even though that wasn’t part of his plan. Why wouldn’t Axel understand?

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted. His eyes, wandering aimlessly all around Axel’s face, had finally noticed his lips. Bare, firm lips, with no protection whatsoever, slightly separated. A little pink, though. That wasn’t normal — maybe he had been biting himself? A nightmare? That was impossible. He was peaceful. Maybe it was his imagination. Nevermind that, Saïx thought. A few teeth were showing, and Saïx could almost see his breathing. He could hear him, that’s for sure, breathing, sighing; he didn’t snore, even though he did back when they were human. But now was no time to wander off. Axel could get up in any moment, and he couldn’t be there when he woke up.

————

Axel was exhausted, for he was coming back from a mission, and all he could think about was lying on a coach of the Grey Area. He couldn’t help but think that he had been busier than ever. Was that why he was having such a hard time when he slept? Nah, that couldn’t possibly be. Sighing, Axel grabbed his Eternal Flames tightly. There wasn’t time to waste thinking about him. He—they had to get to Kingdom Hearts to be once again who they used to be.

He entered the Grey Area. It took him no more than half a minute to spot Saïx, since he was standing up reading that book he always carried with him. Saïx was always so focused on the mission, on Kingdom Hearts, that he couldn’t tell if Saïx felt the same things he felt when he was Isa. Of course, it wasn’t like they _could_ feel anything anymore. That thought made him laugh in a bitterly way. Still staring at him, but now with a sour grin on his face, he saw Saïx turning to look at him.

His long, blue hair rested on his shoulders. The lighting made it look like it was a lighter shade of blue it actually was, and the contrast made his yellow eyes more piercing. It was only a second, but he noticed Saïx’s eyes growing bigger. When he looked again, the serenity on his eyes was back, making them neutral and emotionless. ‘It isn’t fair’, Axel thought. He remembered when Isa had the same blue eyes he still had. They changed when they became Nobodies, and there was when everything started to tear them apart.

Saïx’s lips were opened, since he was talking about the mission, but Axel couldn’t care less. He was admiring his long eyelashes, his sharp chin, his X-shaped scar, the way his eyebrows were slowly frowning and his lips were forming a crooked grin. Axel knew a scold was coming but he really didn’t care, and when Saïx lectured him because he wasn’t paying attention, he burst out laughing. It was just the same as when they were Isa and Lea, just the two of them, fighting the evil and running all across Radiant Garden. 

Sadly, this nostalgic moment lasted only a second since Saïx was no longer tolerant with jokes. And Axel didn’t want to stand there forever, reminding himself they weren’t the same and their relationship had changed, so he decided to go to his room. Maybe this night he could dream about their childhood.


End file.
